To my friends,

Yesterday one of my friends stopped by and told me that he had lost his sister to cancer this last week. I tried to hold myself together as well as I could but the tears continued to defy me and run down my face. Just when I thought I had pulled myself together we stopped by thier house just to let them know we were thinking of them. Once again the tears began to pour and I couldn't even speak. I was up all night last night thinking of them. As much as I tried to fall into the mindless sleep, my pillow continued to catch my tears. I am terrible with words and obviously can't even speak because everytime I see them, I break down. So, this is my way of reaching out.

To my friends,
I am so terribly sorry for the loss that you have had to endure. I know that this has been a long road that as much as you knew it was going to end, you yearned to look over the horizon and see another stretch of time that you had with her. I know that you have probably heard every worn out phrase in the book this last week about her being in a better place, how she is happy now, and how she would only want you to carry on with your lives and experience everything that life has to offer. As wonderful as all of these statements are, they are hard to internalize right now. I know that in this life we are given trials and we need to accept them and not question our Father in Heaven. But, in this case, I can't help but think that maybe the question "why?" is appropriate. Heavenly Father does have a perfect plan for all of us that we will one day understand but I believe that he also knows that right now, in the moment of pain, we don't understand why. He made us and instilled into us all the feelings that we have; including sadness, loneliness, anger, and depression. He knows how we are feeling and I think that He understand when we question Him. Right now all we see is the fact that Brittney left three beautiful children that now have to live without her, a husband that had to say goodbye to his eternal companion after nine short years, and a family that is in pieces aching for their sister. I believe that as we ask "why?" our Father in Heaven with teach us the valuable lessons that we need to learn from this. But don't expect all the answers to come now. Now is the time for the pain and the mourning. Now is the time to feel the loss that our Father felt when he watched his own Son die. Now is the time to learn of the sadness that they have felt. We can only become like them when we learn to emmulate them. And in the future; maybe at Brynn's baptism, or on Brittney's birthday, or a long drive home from work, He will begin to whisper to your heart the reasons why. He will begin to pick up the pieces of your heart and put it back together again. And you will feel joy again. You will be closer to our Savior; for the valley that you had to walk through because He is walking every step with you. He suffered all of these pains so let Him take them from you. For now, as you are grieving, please know that you have a large circle of friends that are surrounding you, ready to buoy you up at your weak moments. We do not expect you to be strong and come bounding to the door with a smile on your face when we visit. You have always given to all of us so selflessly that it is now our turn to give back. We love you. We adore you. And we know that you will get through this.And one day, when the time comes for you to reunite with Brittney once again, the reunion will be so sweet because you know what it is like to live without her. She will wrap you in her healthly arms with a strength that she was not able to achieve here on earth. She will kiss your face and welcome you into the paradise that she has been living in. What a sweet day that will be!