Thursday, July 17, 2008

Enjoy the ride

Tylie has really gotten into singing and dancing lately. It is not unusual for me to walk into her room and hear her singing "I love to see the temple" to herself or dancing to the credits of her favorite cartoons. As a mom, it is hard to get ready in the morning because Tylie wakes up and wants to play. I have found that I can turn on CMT in the morning and Tylie will dance to the music videos while I finish getting ready. There is this song out right now about a girl that is anxious to move on to the next phase in life and her parents keep telling her to slow down and enjoy the time that she has. The main lines in the chorus is "Your gonna miss this, your gonna want this back, your gonna wish these days didn't go by so fast." I have heard this song a million times but yesterday it hit me. I stopped for a minute and watched Ty as she was dancing all over my living room and begging me to watch her. I looked around my messy house and grinned at all the toys strewn across the floor and Jake's school books blanketing my kitchen table. Usually at this moment in my day, I would sigh at what a mess it was and tally up in my head how long it is going to take me to get everything cleaned up, Tylie dressed, and get myself off to work at a reasonable time. Yesterday was different though. I am going to miss this. I am going to miss everything about this time in my life. My one regret about California is that I didn't fully enjoy the time that I was there. It was always in the back of my mind that we would eventually move back to Utah and I was just biding my time in that moment came. With law school coming up I find myself in the same mind set. Looking ahead of what's to come but not looking around and enjoying the moment that I am in. As I type this, Tylie is lying on my chest with a clump of my hair in her hand. She is gently stroking my hair across her face as she does every night right before she fades off to sleep. How can I not just pray for this to never end? I am going to miss these times, I don't doubt that. I just hope that I revel in these moments enough that I won't regret them when they are gone.