The perfect gift

Mother's Day has crept up on me this year and has caught me completely off guard with what to get for the special mothers in my life. I have always struggled with Mother's Day and this year is no different. I do not struggle because I don't want to honor and adore them as the angels they are, I struggle because I have concluded that finding the perfect mother's day gift is nothing short of impossible.When I was a teenager I felt a constant weight on my shoulders from the beginning of April until the day after Mother's day because I felt that if I didn't get my mom something that she would faint at when she saw it, then I had failed. I tried the approach of sneaking around and trying to catch any small little hint that she would throw out weeks before "the day." That never worked because I would often misinterpret these hints and end up buying something that got placed on the top shelf of her closet and became nothing more than a dust collector. Then I took the approach of throwing my hands in the air and just coming out and asking her. I always got the standard mom answers that went against everything I believed in. She would say things like "all I want is for all you kids to get along" OH PLEASE! or something like "all I want is for my kids to remember what I have taught them and be the best that they can be." At this point I was walking out of the room, trying to hold back my gag reflex, and grabbing my keys so I could head off to the mall yet again to wander aimlessly through shops praying that something would jump off the shelf at me. In recent years, I have attempted the gift cards (I know, completely impersonal and easy way out), the hand written cards, and the sentimental things of old memories when we were kids. I have even got Tylie in on the act hoping that she could scribble some gorgeous fridge hanging that would take grandma's breath away. All of these attempts have come to no avail and here I am yet again staring down the barrel at Mother's Day with empty hands. Tonight I loaded up the kids and headed off to the store where every cliched mother's gift is held- Deseret Book. I had an hour and a half until they closed and I planned on using every precious minute and not leaving until I had something, ANYTHING in my hands. Tylie quickly found the children's book section and quickly nestled down at a small table with a stack of books. So, there I was. Left to battle this daunting task by myself. Just me and my little 20 pound beef cake, Mason, that I got to haul up and down each aisle. I looked and I looked and I looked some more. I picked up each book soaking up each synopsis and trying to picture my mom snuggled in a blanket with each book. As each one failed to make the perfect picture in my head I got more and more discouraged. How in the world I am supposed to pick out a physical thing that symbolizes to my mom how much I love her. This woman has given my life and now I am supposed to thank her by giving her something that I can pick up off a shelf. What a disaster! I finally settled on an inspirational book that I had heard several people recommend and prayed that somehow my mom would appreciate it. I guess I will never know because you know how mom's are. You could give them a basket full of rats and they will act like it is exactly what they have been dreaming about. I know that my mom will never read this because she doesn't do computers so well but I hope that Jake's mom will and that they will both know how much I appreciate and adore them. My mom has taught me how to be the woman I am today and she will never know the profound effect that she has on my daily life. I distinctly remember coming home from school everyday looking forward to seeing her. I knew that she would be there ready to ask me how my day was and if I did not immediately respond with some story or explanation- she would be there to push me for details until she knew about every minute since I walked out the door that morning to the minute that I walked back through it. Back then I sincerely believed that she cared about what I ate for lunch but now I realize that she just wanted me to talk. She wanted to establish that communication with me and it did not matter what it was about. I would be so disappointed on the days that I would come home and she was not there. As an adult, I find myself still calling her sometime during my day just to check in. I adore her in every sense of the word and pray that I can be like her. That woman is filled with child like faith, hope as bright as the sun, and a love for her Savior that I feel radiate from her daily. She keeps us all on track which is quite a task considering how different we all are and the work it takes to keep us there. I would also feel very amiss if I did not mention Jake's mom in my writing. I have heard many people complain about the "mother-in-law" and having to "deal" with all that comes with it. I can honestly say that I have never looked at Jake's mom as my "mother-in-law." No, she is just my mom. She has accepted me and loved me from the day I met her and has never wavered in her support of Jake and I. She had the ability to raise Jake and that is really saying something. I unfortunately did not know Jake when he was growing up but I have heard stories, oh, have I heard stories. Dennis the Menace paled in comparison to some of the stunts that Jake pulled off. The amazing thing is, is that his mom was able to keep him alive, keep him in church, get him to graduate, and loved him through it all. She has always made me feel like one of her daughters and because she established that love with me right away, I have always loved to call her and talk to her just as I do my own mom. She is one of those people that you call because you know that they will sit and listen, not interrupt, and then build you up and you leave feeling like you are a superstar. I love my mothers. I appreciate my mothers. I appreciate that they accept me with all my flaws and one of my flaws is mother's day gifts. So- to the mother's in my life- on this mother's day when I give you a gift that is not near what you deserve, please understand that it is my flaw and that I feel completely inadequate to show you how I feel. I will just continue to pray that one day I might be able to serve you in even just a small fraction of the service that you have given to me. Happy Mother's Day!