Thursday, May 14, 2009

Swatters away Please!


Drop the fly swatter and step away from the computer! It is only me. I know that I look like a giant fly ready to leap out of your screen and start buzzing around your head but I promise, no buzzing will be coming your way. This is just another classic case of my idiocy and how I don't learn things very quickly. Most people make a mistake once, learn from the mistake, and move on. Not me! I love to make mistakes, get disgusted and want to beat my head against a wall, get up, dust myself off, and run right back into the ring to make the same stupid mistake that I just made. Case in point: I still say yes to Mary Kay and Pampered Chef parties, I still pick up the phone when a member of the bishopric calls, and I still wash my car in the middle of winter and the cuss my way to work through the middle of a slushy snow storm. My latest hair brained move was to purchase these stunning sunglasses off the Internet. It is a fine tradition that I have made for myself every spring and it seems to get better each year passes. Jake and I used to treasure our sunglasses and have had a few pairs that the price tag would make some people faint. I don't know why I thought is was a good idea to spend hundreds of dollars on silly things that you only wear in the summer, but I did and so we would indulge ourselves while living in California. When we had kids, all that changed. Tylie loved to get into my purse and find the one thing that I didn't want her to find. Every time she would destroy a pair, I wanted to curl up in the fetal position and cry because I could almost hear the money flushing down the toilet. I decided the days of glamour were past and it was time to go for the "cheapies". I got the brilliant idea of logging onto ebay and buying sunglasses and I found an aw some site where they were only about $10 a pair! TEN DOLLARS??!!! And they weren't that bad looking either. I thought I had come to the end of the rainbow and discovered the pot of gold that everyone else had been missing. I quickly ordered about 3 pairs and anxiously peered into my mailbox waiting for the day that they would arrive. When they came, I ripped the box open, ran to the bathroom, put them on one by one, and to my surprise- that feeling of wanting to curl up in a ball and cry returned. I LOOKED RIDICULOUS (see pic above)! All of them were either too big, too wide, smashed to my eyelashes, or fell off my face. Jake just laughed at me and told me that is what I got for buying something off the internet without trying it on first. That was three years ago and yet about a week ago, I found myself peering deeply into my mailbox hoping to see that little cardboard box I was expecting. I have continued this trend each year since and am surprised each year when I find a giant insect staring in the mirror back at me. I couldn't help but laugh at myself this year and hope that the 4th time is the charm and I won't repeat next year. So please, tuck your fly swatters safely back on top of the fridge and put the bug spray away. Who knows, maybe I will wear those stupid sunglasses through the summer and the humiliation might stick with me until next year when I sit down at the computer, pull up ebay, and start the process all over again!

4 comments:

Erica said...

That is hilarious!! I loved this story! I'm sure if I could wear sunglasses without having to wear my contacts I would be a sunglasses addict, too :o)

Valerie Plowman said...

That is funny! I was brave and ordered some shirts online the other day...it turned out okay.

Oh, and we LOVE Catan! So fun!

Kat said...

You are so freakin funny!! I was laughing out loud!

Brittany said...

Andrea I love you. You're freakin hilarious!!