Hancock family

I woke up this morning to silence- no alarm clock buzzing for the fifth time to finally shake me out of bed. 9:01 came and went and my phone stayed silent- no boss calling to find out why I wasn't at work yet. It was the first Monday morning in quite sometime that I sat down to eat breakfast with my family without having to calculate in my head how fast I had to shove my cereal down so I could beat the traffic up Redwood Road.
That's right- I am finally hanging it up. Calling it a day, throwin' in the towel, and any other cliched phrase you can think of. I quit. I am starting a new phase in my life- the full time mom stage. A stage that I have been praying for years to experience but now that it is here, I am completely nervous. I watch these perfect moms in my neighborhood get their visiting teaching done the first week of the month, scrapbook, cook, clean, sew and my excuse it always that I work and on my days off I just want to spend time with my kids. Well... my excuse is gone and if you think that I am going to wake up tomorrow as the new and improved Mary Poppins, you've got another thing coming. It is going to be really weird not working. From now on instead of being paid with paychecks and bonuses, I will be paid with bear hugs and wet kisses. Instead of approving loans, I will be approving treat choices and mismatched outfits. Instead of negotiating loan terms, I will be negotiating bedtimes. Instead of teaching people of finances and credit, I will be teaching ABC's and 123. I am starting to feel that I didn't quit a job to just stay home- I feel like I promoted up to a much bigger job. I am thrilled to spend time with my babies. I am aware of every moment that they grow and change and now I will be there for every second.

To my friends at work: As excited as I am to be at home, I will truly miss you. I keep telling Jake that as happy as I am, it broke my heart to lock that gate for the last time. It wouldn't be so hard if I didn't love you guys so much. I had a boss that would work with me no matter what kind of fiasco I had that day. I had friends that I got attached to so fast. I hope they don't become those friends that I lose contact with and never talk to- You guys mean more to me than to let that happen. Thank you, thank you, thank you. You will never know how much I enjoyed laughing with you every day.

I have been ignoring the fact that Mason needs a haircut for awhile now. I think I have just been intimidated by the whole idea. Tylie was a girl so I never had to worry about haircuts. I would cheer for every inch that I got because that meant I was that much closer to cute ponytails, curls, bows and braids. When Mason started to look more like Cousin It rather than my baby boy, I decided that it can't get any worse. I whipped out Jake's clippers and went to work.
Before:

The damage:

I guess I am trying to hold on to my youth, trying to prove that I am still "up with the times". I am fully aware that I am married with two children but I don't think that I should suddenly have to throw on a floor length dress, apron, and bonnet and spend my days grinding flour and milking cows. I still like to get dressed up once in a while, put on a pair of stilettos and go out like an independent woman. I do not consider myself old, just mature. The other day I was at work and my coworkers were talking to me about "facebook" and wondering why I don't have my own "page". This seems to be quite the common question as of lately. Every where I turn there seems to be an invitation, announcement, party that I am missing out on because I did not get it on facebook. It is not that I have anything against it but I only have so much time in the day and I am afraid to become too bogged down in this new "my life via Internet" phase everyone seems to be passing through. I just think that I have to draw the line somewhere. Maybe it is this new attitude that we all have. We all think that we are so interesting and the rest of the world really does want to know what time I vacuumed my floor, what I ate for breakfast, and how many times I had to change mason's diaper in one day. I am not bagging on anyone, I do it myself. I just try to hold to it the funny stories of my everyday life instead of the mundane details. I am afraid if I do this blog, get a facebook page, log on to twitter, and continue to check my emails you will all be very aware of what I am doing but it will just be updates about how many movies Tylie had watched in a day and how long I can push Mason in between meals (which is not long!) because I am just sitting in front of a computer in a daze trying to keep up with it all. It is a delicate balance being an independent woman and a mom, a feather can throw the whole thing off. I was feeling good about all this justification UNTIL this kid at work took all the wind right out of my sails. I was rambling on about why I don't want a page and how my blog is enough and this was his response. " Oh, you have a blog. That makes sense. You are a mom. That is what moms do. They leave the social world and go to a blog where they can go on and on about the stupid things their kids do that none of us really care about." EXCUSE ME! Suddenly I felt like I should get out of my chair, grab my shawl and cane, whack him over the head with my purse and drive my Cadillac home to sulk. I felt so OLD! So I finally broke down and got a facebook page. How is that for independent woman? Giving in to some punk that still thinks it's cool to leave a bag of crap on a porch and ring the doorbell. I don't know for sure what I am going to do with it but now when someone asks if I have one I can answer with a resounding yes. I don't know what I have started though. Now I suddenly feel this pressure to get "friends". When is it going to end? I have searched for some friends and sent out some invites to people I feel I know well and wouldn't question why I found them. I am trying hard not to turn into a stalker, I think blog stalker is about my limit. Please when I post my first comment about tylie hitting double digits on Disney movies in one day, come steal my computer monitor and my keyboard. Believe me, you will only me doing me a favor!

After a long week of wedding, BBQ's, playing with family, and utter sickness I am relieved to sit at the computer and reflect on the whole experience. Last Sunday, as I was tucking Tylie in bed for the night, I explained to her that we were going to have a very busy week and she needed to get as much rest as possible to be ready for what we ahead. I quietly rehearsed into her ear all the fun things that we were going to do and the family we were going to see. As she drifted off to sleep, I had painted a beautiful picture that she could dream to. I did not realize that in the midst of the beautiful dream would be a black streak in the form of the flu staining all of our fun events.

We had a family reunion this weekend and I am so sad that it is already over. Tylie absolutely loves to play with her cousins and just did not think that two days was long enough. I was lucky enough to catch a few of the moments of fun......