Tylie just turned two a couple of weeks ago. I was watching her play the other day and it suddenly brought me to a stark realization. She sings nursery songs, tries to dress herself, and can carry on a full blown conversation with grandma on the phone with me a room away. When did all of this happen??? I have struggled with the fact that Tylie is not my newborn anymore. I got used to the idea of being a "new" mom and now my baby is two. What now??? Well the natural response for most is that it is time for another one. My instinct says that this is right but I am very aware of what is in store for me now. My next one will grow up just as Tylie has and I will find myself thinking that I need another baby again. Where does the cycle end? I always laughed at my mom when she would cry at every little recital or graduation. Honestly, I just thought my mom was overly emotional. Now I know what she was thinking all of those times. I really don't know if I am ready for Tylie to take on this world. I am so afraid of her being hurt by someone and it will be a hurt that I can't just put a bandaid on and make it all better. I spend my life right now making sure that she won't get cold, hungry, tired, or hurt. As she grows up I am expected to let these things go a little at a time and let her learn to take these things on herself. Being a parent is much more emotional work that it is physical work. And the cycle will go on. I guess it is all just a learning process that we are supposed to go through in this life. But I can't help but sit here and watch Tylie and wonder what knid of emotional motherhood did I sign up for?
3 comments:
Dear Ang.
I loved your thoughts about being a mom and the emotions that surface. It truly is a cycle of life and once it gets started it goes on for eternity and there's no getting off the cycle. That's part of the big plan---the reason we came here. Tylie is so cute! How fun is it to see her grow into a real person. We love her and we love you. Keep up the good work!
Love,
Grandma
Hi Andrea! Cute picture of little Tylie...she is a doll! I hope she had a fun birthday! It's too true - kids do grow up way too fast and sometimes between all of the breakfasts, naps, errands, and bedtimes, the really precious moments sneak on by. I try to remind myself of that everyday, especially the days when my patience wears thin! Tylie is sure lucky to have you and Jake!
Hi Andrea!! Its Lindsey. Chris' wife. I found your blog through Grandma Sally's. I can't believe how big Tylie is. She is so cute!! They do grow up too fast. I am sure she is pretty spoiled by your family! Love you guys.
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