I turn thirty tomorrow. I am having a hard time with this one. Thirty. 3-0. 10,950 days. 262,800 hours. You get my point. A really long time. I feel old. I am no longer the "young adult" or the "newly wed" or even the "young mommy". Nope. I am the "experienced mom" (yeah right!) with three kids. I am in mid life. I am supposed to know what I am doing by now. All of these thoughts have me hyperventilating a bit. I am just not ready to be thirty. I just seems too grown up. Much more grown up then I feel. Anyway... with my birthday quickly approaching it was ironic for my parents to find an old chest of mine high up in their garage last week. They thought it was some old Christmas decorations and pulled it down. When my dad showed it to me, I kind of laughed and told him to throw it away. It was just a bunch of junk I had lived without for ten years and not missed at all. He refused and put the dusty old thing in the back of my car and sent me on my way. When I got home I started to sort through it, I learned a few things about myself.
First- I used to be a ridiculous pack rat! I found crap in there that you wouldn't even see on an episode of "Hoarders." I found ticket stubs, choir program pamphlets, tie dyed boxers, and about a million red pencils to mark my scriptures. None of them were sharpened. What does that say about me? I couldn't believe how I had saved every knick knack from Disneyland to girls camp. I had enough boondoggle in that box to supply summer camps for ten years. And why did I really think I needed to remember the exact date, time, and theatre of the five times I saw Titanic? Who knows but I can prove to you that I did see it five times because I have every ticket stub. And I can tell you who I saw it with. No, I don't have that great of a memory. I can tell you because I even went so far as to write it on the stub- every name of every friend that I went with! Pathetic! Embarrassing!
Anyway... Amid all the crap I did find a few golden nuggets that I feel I must share with you. Please note that this is bearing some of my most vulnerable and awkward stages in life. Go ahead and laugh, I did. Just keep your judgements to yourself.
First- The Wilfardo hat. This little beauty was given to each grandchild when we had a family reunion in Disneyland. I believe I was about 10 at the time. You could see about 30 of these babies running around Disneyland that whole week. My mom's hat, however, rarely strayed far from "It's a small world." She claimed that it was the only ride that Mark and Josh liked but it turned out that it was really her favorite ride. My favorite part about these hats were that they were all personalized. I am grandchild number 6- obviously.
Ahhhh... the classic mall photo booth. I particularly like this pic because it highlight the enormous zit protruding off my face. This was my weak spot on my face. I think I had a consecutive zit in that exact spot for a solid ten years.
This is from the previously mentioned trip to Disneyland. My parents had given me a camera and of course I had to bring it on the trip. I really thought I was some kind of grand photographer. I found numerous pictures from this trip in that box. This one just made me laugh. I can just picture me, ten years old, demanding that all my siblings pose for a shot in front of the fountain. I am sure that they thought I was a complete moron but I appreciate their tolerance of me. Except for Chad, he is obviously not thrilled about the shot. Actually, now that I look closer at the picture, none of them are really participating. Except Brittany. Thanks Britt- I can always count on you.
This is from an annual trip with my cousins that Chad and I went on. We would go kayaking down the Green River. I have many fond memories of these trips. Things like truly wondering if diet coke was an actual food group and wondering why Chad is dumb enough to go off a waterfall standing up in his kayak. This is also where my jealousy of my cousin Erica began. She would always have the cutest kayak and oar because she was so darn crafty and would paint expertly. The jealousy continues to this day as I sit in my house toiling over how to tie a cellophane bag and she is creating grand centerpieces out of toilet paper rolls and tootsie roll wrappers. And yes, Erica, that is you in the background with your perfect tan!
The classic group shot every school year. My friends and I were a photographers dream when it came to picture day. We would spend hours coordinating what to wear, who would be in the picture, and what pose to be in. It consumed us for weeks before that actual day. I would always order the best package because I was sure that I needed at least 4- 8x10's and as many wallets as they would shove in that envelope. These pictures would adorn my locker the whole year and then were taken down and put in that lovely box for me to find 15 years later.
And finally, these were probably my favorite thing in that whole box. My grandparents birthday cards. These are true treasures. My grandma has always made our cards on her computer. They have definitely evolved over the years but they have always had a special message right from them to me. They started out without any color.
A few years later, color ink came in.
Then technology caught up with my Grandma and she was able to start putting pictures in them.
And this is what we have today. I was given my card on Sunday at my birthday dinner and I was just as excited to get it as I am every year. Time has not changed that. I look forward to seeing what pictures are in there. I love to read what they have written to me. And I love that I get to add another card to my collection. I know that one day these cards will stop. But they haven't yet. Thank you grandma for the constant effort that you put into these. I want you to know that we recognize that it is a lot of work to do cards for six kids (and their spouses), 33 grandchildren (and their spouses), and 23 great grandchildren. You are truly amazing and we love and treasure those cards.
Well... thank you for walking down memory lane with me. It makes me feel a little better. I am grateful to be out of the awkward zit stage. I am grateful to have siblings that tolerate my ridiculousness. I am grateful that I have survived thirty years and am relatively normal. ( It's all relative, right?) Here's to another thirty years worth of memories!
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
It's time
My six week sabbatical is up. I am healed from Cade's delivery and I have no more excuses. For weeks I have looked solemnly into the mirror at my five double chins but could do nothing about it. With my other two pregnancies, the weight seemingly melted off after delivery. With this one, however, it is clinging to me like a fat kid clings to a Twinkie. I weigh myself every morning but the scale has not budged. I even began to question if it was working properly until I put Tylie on it and realized it worked just fine. So...with all that said, I made a choice a few days ago. I got my fat butt off the couch, put the Butterfingers down and strapped on the ole' running shoes. I turned on the treadmill and after a few creaks and complaints of not being used for months, we became good friends again. It felt good to run again. It felt good to push myself (even if it was only for three miles!). It just felt good to be able to move! I am going to do another 1/2 marathon with my sister in June. I better get moving. I can't wait to get the extra poundage off that I am carrying around. I don't want it to seem like I am complaining to much though. I am happy to be a mama again. I just want to be a smaller mama than I am now. But, no matter what, this is what I got out of it.
It is worth it, even the 5 extra chins!
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
What a weekend!
This last weekend was crazy family fun! Full of Thanksgiving feasts, seeing the new Twilight movie ( which was disappointing to say the least!), Black Friday shopping, Baptisms, baby blessings, and a long nap on Sunday. So, with all that going on, it is only fitting that I post all the pics to go along with the excitement!
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Worthless
The other night Jake's sister, Valene, and I decided to whip up some homemade shakes. I had done this many times when I was younger and found myself reminiscing about Sunday nights with my siblings. We would make a mess as we created chocolate chip shakes but we loved it. One thing stood out though. It was always impossible to get the blender to mix them right. It would pulverize the bottom but leave huge chunks of ice cream on the top. I would have to jam a wooden spoon down in the mixture several times trying to get everything broken up and by the time I was done I would end up with chocolate chip soup on the bottom and random whole chips through out the shake.
The other night, we set about to solve this problem and decided to try my food processor instead. Genius! It whipped it up so fast! It made perfectly thick smooth shakes with evenly dispersed chocolate goodness! I have decided that the blender is completely worthless. I have tried to convince myself that it is good for something but I cannot come up with one thing. Everything that I have thought of can be accomplished just as good, if not better, with the food processor. I love that I have found a fabulous way of making shakes! I don't love what those shakes are going to do to my hips!
We had a wonderful Thanksgiving weekend full of food, black friday shopping, baptisms and baby blessings. Hope your holiday was wonderful as well. I will try to post pics soon.
The other night, we set about to solve this problem and decided to try my food processor instead. Genius! It whipped it up so fast! It made perfectly thick smooth shakes with evenly dispersed chocolate goodness! I have decided that the blender is completely worthless. I have tried to convince myself that it is good for something but I cannot come up with one thing. Everything that I have thought of can be accomplished just as good, if not better, with the food processor. I love that I have found a fabulous way of making shakes! I don't love what those shakes are going to do to my hips!
We had a wonderful Thanksgiving weekend full of food, black friday shopping, baptisms and baby blessings. Hope your holiday was wonderful as well. I will try to post pics soon.
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Lately, every time I log on to facebook there is always someone that is ringing in on their attitude about Christmas pushing out Thanksgiving. The opinions vary from disgust at the stores for "decking their halls" in November to giddiness that Christmas music is in the rotation at the radio stations. I have watched the comments on such posts and they can become very animated as people express their opinions. As I read and consider these battles, I find myself in a very strange place. One that I am not used to. I find myself without an opinion. I have tried to pick a side but it comes down to the fact that I really just don't care. Yes, I recognize the fact that Thanksgiving is often downplayed by Christmas. Yes, I see that Thanksgiving is completely skipped over by most retails giants. No, I don't put Christmas decorations up until after Thanksgiving. BUT- I don't get disgusted when I see Christmas lights and candy canes gracing the shelves. ( I actually really like buying my first chocolate orange of the season! ) If someone wants to put up Christmas lights on their house on Nov. 1st- more power to them. I wish my husband would do that. Then I would have some lights on my house for the holiday. I still love Thanksgiving. I love the feel of an overcrowded house with more food than is humanly possible to consume. I love the board games, the movies, and the pies. But I also think we shouldn't get too heated over Christmas entering the scene prematurely. After all- what is Thanksgiving all about? ( I mean other than the day after shopping? ) It is all about being thankful right? And what is Christmas all about? Our Savior's birth. I can't think of much more to be thankful for than His birth. Maybe the solution is to create a new holiday. Or combine the two and do a month long holiday. I am ok with that. We can call it Christgiving or Thankmas. Anyway- until our legislature creates that holiday- deck your halls and stuff your turkey. They are both wonderful holidays with wonderful messages. I just hope we can keep those messages in mind.
My friend came and shot some pics of my kids. I just wanted to show you how cute my baby is.
My friend came and shot some pics of my kids. I just wanted to show you how cute my baby is.
Monday, November 14, 2011
On Saturday I took the kids out to a recital that their cousins were performing in. My nephew Levi really wanted to come to my house after to watch the BYU game and Tylie really wanted to stay in Grantsville to play with her cousins so we did the classic kid swap with plans to meet later that night. Well, the game went longer than normal and it was pretty late to be running all the way out to Grantsville at ten o'clock at night so we sent Levi home with grandpa and Tylie got to have an impromptu sleepover. Sunday morning came and Jake and I found ourselves in church with our kid count back down to two. When sacrament was over I asked Jake if he would take Mason to nursery since I wasn't sure which nursery he was supposed to be in. Our ward has three nurseries and due to bed rest and newborn baby time, I felt confused to where he should be. Jake just looked at me with shock and told me that he didn't know either. "Tylie always takes him and picks him up. I don't have a clue to where to take him." So there we were. The parents in the situation wishing our five year old were there to show us the way. I know that they always say that parents take care of the children and then a time comes when the children take care of the parents. I just didn't expect it to happen this soon.
Monday, November 7, 2011
Cade's blessing
We blessed Cade yesterday. It was a great day full of lots of family and special moments. There is just something that gets me everytime I see those wonderful men surrounding my baby dressed in white. It is such a selfless act on all of their parts to come and use that preisthood for my child's benefit. Thank you to everyone who came and those who wanted to but couldn't. Sundee, as usual, we missed you. We are excited to see you at Chrsitmas. Britt and Rick, we missed you too. 3 weeks is not much time but my kids are counting down the days that you come and they get to see Dylan again.
Friday, October 21, 2011
What have I become?
As I have stated in previous blogs, my football fanaticism has only recently started in recent years. It came with the territory on that day I was all dressed in white and promised myself to Jake forever. In marriage sometimes you do things just because your spouse wants to and that is why I started watching football every Saturday in the fall. It is what Jake and I did when we lived in California and then I, unexpectedly, began to love the game. I am not claiming that I am an expert but there is just something so fun about sitting around the TV praying for a hail mary with ten seconds left in the game.
My addiction started slowly. First, watching the games with Jake. Then I started to watch them without him. Shortly after that I found myself watching games that I wasn't really cheering for either side, I just liked watching the game. Before I knew it, I was part of a Fantasy Football league, following injury reports of players, setting the DVR for several games because I was watching another at the same time, and making sure I had the right line up on my team as I was driving to church Sunday morning. I can say that I do not check my team while I am at church but I will not say that I have not been tempted.
The other day I was cleaning up the house and Tylie and Mason were in my room watching some cartoons before I made them get dressed for the day. Mason was dancing with the "Little Einsteins" as he always does and inadvertently jumped on the remote control and changed the channel. It changed to ESPN and the were running a highlight reel of the previous weeks football games. As I rounded the corner I heard Tylie in a hushed but worried voice talking to Mason. "Hurry, Mason, hurry! Change the channel before mom sees the football!" I couldn't help but ask myself as I laughed behind the wall- "What have I become?"
My addiction started slowly. First, watching the games with Jake. Then I started to watch them without him. Shortly after that I found myself watching games that I wasn't really cheering for either side, I just liked watching the game. Before I knew it, I was part of a Fantasy Football league, following injury reports of players, setting the DVR for several games because I was watching another at the same time, and making sure I had the right line up on my team as I was driving to church Sunday morning. I can say that I do not check my team while I am at church but I will not say that I have not been tempted.
The other day I was cleaning up the house and Tylie and Mason were in my room watching some cartoons before I made them get dressed for the day. Mason was dancing with the "Little Einsteins" as he always does and inadvertently jumped on the remote control and changed the channel. It changed to ESPN and the were running a highlight reel of the previous weeks football games. As I rounded the corner I heard Tylie in a hushed but worried voice talking to Mason. "Hurry, Mason, hurry! Change the channel before mom sees the football!" I couldn't help but ask myself as I laughed behind the wall- "What have I become?"
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Friday, October 7, 2011
I don't know if it is the fact that we have a new little baby in the house, or the fact that he just turned 3 on Sunday, or the fact the he is just crazy but this last week Mason has decided to crank up the naughty meter. At first I felt bad for him because I know that his world has been permanently altered with this baby but all sympathy feeling have fled and I am left with exhaustion and frustration. In less than a week he has:
* Left the house without my knowledge and wandered to my friends house. Thank goodness she found him and saved him from the elements. I promise to never leave him to brush my teeth again!
* Screamed for 45 minutes because I put the frosting on his toaster strudel and he wanted to.
* Decided that Cade needed to be held while I was in the shower and I found him with Cade in a choke hold trying to drag him out of his bed.
* Threw sand in Tylie's face repeatedly while she sat there and screamed. ( Tylie obviously could have ran away but she is always one for a flare of drama!)
I could go on but for the sake of his future self esteem, I will stop with the highlights. I feel bad that he is struggling. He is bored. His mom doesn't leave the house because of this new baby. The weather has gone bad so it is hard to be outside. He wants the attention that he is used to getting but now has to split with another little human. I recognize all these things but in the heat of the moments when he is blatantly disobeying me, it is hard to remember why I feel bad for him. He is trying to find his place. His is smashed somewhere in the middle of this family and he is determined not to be forgotten. He is very good at this job.
Today he is off at his cousin's house playing for the day. I am so grateful that he can go to a place he loves and I don't have to worry a bit about him. He can expend all that energy and come home and collapse weary from play. Things will settle down and get better. I feel that Mason is, in many ways, a mirror of myself. He is acting out what I feel inside. Things are chaos right now. I never expected the transition from 2 to 3 to be this hard. Once I start to figure things out I am sure that a new routine will fall into place and Mason will calm down. Until then, I pray that the house is still standing at the end of this.
* Left the house without my knowledge and wandered to my friends house. Thank goodness she found him and saved him from the elements. I promise to never leave him to brush my teeth again!
* Screamed for 45 minutes because I put the frosting on his toaster strudel and he wanted to.
* Decided that Cade needed to be held while I was in the shower and I found him with Cade in a choke hold trying to drag him out of his bed.
* Threw sand in Tylie's face repeatedly while she sat there and screamed. ( Tylie obviously could have ran away but she is always one for a flare of drama!)
I could go on but for the sake of his future self esteem, I will stop with the highlights. I feel bad that he is struggling. He is bored. His mom doesn't leave the house because of this new baby. The weather has gone bad so it is hard to be outside. He wants the attention that he is used to getting but now has to split with another little human. I recognize all these things but in the heat of the moments when he is blatantly disobeying me, it is hard to remember why I feel bad for him. He is trying to find his place. His is smashed somewhere in the middle of this family and he is determined not to be forgotten. He is very good at this job.
Today he is off at his cousin's house playing for the day. I am so grateful that he can go to a place he loves and I don't have to worry a bit about him. He can expend all that energy and come home and collapse weary from play. Things will settle down and get better. I feel that Mason is, in many ways, a mirror of myself. He is acting out what I feel inside. Things are chaos right now. I never expected the transition from 2 to 3 to be this hard. Once I start to figure things out I am sure that a new routine will fall into place and Mason will calm down. Until then, I pray that the house is still standing at the end of this.
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
He is here!
I am so happy to announce that my baby boy is finally here. After much anxiety and waiting, he arrived last Thursday. Here are the details-
Cade Clay Hancock
09/29/2011
8 lbs 2.5 ozs
21 inches long
Born at 4:40 in the afternoon
He looks so much like Mason that it is scary. I just kept looking at him and thinking "I have seen this baby before." I am so happy to have him here. He is much more work on the outside but now I can kiss him and hold him so all the work seems easy. It has been a long road but I am finally off this trail of my life. He is here, he is healthy, and Jake and I are happy. Life is good.
Cade Clay Hancock
09/29/2011
8 lbs 2.5 ozs
21 inches long
Born at 4:40 in the afternoon
He looks so much like Mason that it is scary. I just kept looking at him and thinking "I have seen this baby before." I am so happy to have him here. He is much more work on the outside but now I can kiss him and hold him so all the work seems easy. It has been a long road but I am finally off this trail of my life. He is here, he is healthy, and Jake and I are happy. Life is good.
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