I turn thirty tomorrow. I am having a hard time with this one. Thirty. 3-0. 10,950 days. 262,800 hours. You get my point. A really long time. I feel old. I am no longer the "young adult" or the "newly wed" or even the "young mommy". Nope. I am the "experienced mom" (yeah right!) with three kids. I am in mid life. I am supposed to know what I am doing by now. All of these thoughts have me hyperventilating a bit. I am just not ready to be thirty. I just seems too grown up. Much more grown up then I feel. Anyway... with my birthday quickly approaching it was ironic for my parents to find an old chest of mine high up in their garage last week. They thought it was some old Christmas decorations and pulled it down. When my dad showed it to me, I kind of laughed and told him to throw it away. It was just a bunch of junk I had lived without for ten years and not missed at all. He refused and put the dusty old thing in the back of my car and sent me on my way. When I got home I started to sort through it, I learned a few things about myself.
First- I used to be a ridiculous pack rat! I found crap in there that you wouldn't even see on an episode of "Hoarders." I found ticket stubs, choir program pamphlets, tie dyed boxers, and about a million red pencils to mark my scriptures. None of them were sharpened. What does that say about me? I couldn't believe how I had saved every knick knack from Disneyland to girls camp. I had enough boondoggle in that box to supply summer camps for ten years. And why did I really think I needed to remember the exact date, time, and theatre of the five times I saw Titanic? Who knows but I can prove to you that I did see it five times because I have every ticket stub. And I can tell you who I saw it with. No, I don't have that great of a memory. I can tell you because I even went so far as to write it on the stub- every name of every friend that I went with! Pathetic! Embarrassing!
Anyway... Amid all the crap I did find a few golden nuggets that I feel I must share with you. Please note that this is bearing some of my most vulnerable and awkward stages in life. Go ahead and laugh, I did. Just keep your judgements to yourself.
First- The Wilfardo hat. This little beauty was given to each grandchild when we had a family reunion in Disneyland. I believe I was about 10 at the time. You could see about 30 of these babies running around Disneyland that whole week. My mom's hat, however, rarely strayed far from "It's a small world." She claimed that it was the only ride that Mark and Josh liked but it turned out that it was really her favorite ride. My favorite part about these hats were that they were all personalized. I am grandchild number 6- obviously.
Ahhhh... the classic mall photo booth. I particularly like this pic because it highlight the enormous zit protruding off my face. This was my weak spot on my face. I think I had a consecutive zit in that exact spot for a solid ten years.
This is from the previously mentioned trip to Disneyland. My parents had given me a camera and of course I had to bring it on the trip. I really thought I was some kind of grand photographer. I found numerous pictures from this trip in that box. This one just made me laugh. I can just picture me, ten years old, demanding that all my siblings pose for a shot in front of the fountain. I am sure that they thought I was a complete moron but I appreciate their tolerance of me. Except for Chad, he is obviously not thrilled about the shot. Actually, now that I look closer at the picture, none of them are really participating. Except Brittany. Thanks Britt- I can always count on you.
This is from an annual trip with my cousins that Chad and I went on. We would go kayaking down the Green River. I have many fond memories of these trips. Things like truly wondering if diet coke was an actual food group and wondering why Chad is dumb enough to go off a waterfall standing up in his kayak. This is also where my jealousy of my cousin Erica began. She would always have the cutest kayak and oar because she was so darn crafty and would paint expertly. The jealousy continues to this day as I sit in my house toiling over how to tie a cellophane bag and she is creating grand centerpieces out of toilet paper rolls and tootsie roll wrappers. And yes, Erica, that is you in the background with your perfect tan!
The classic group shot every school year. My friends and I were a photographers dream when it came to picture day. We would spend hours coordinating what to wear, who would be in the picture, and what pose to be in. It consumed us for weeks before that actual day. I would always order the best package because I was sure that I needed at least 4- 8x10's and as many wallets as they would shove in that envelope. These pictures would adorn my locker the whole year and then were taken down and put in that lovely box for me to find 15 years later.
And finally, these were probably my favorite thing in that whole box. My grandparents birthday cards. These are true treasures. My grandma has always made our cards on her computer. They have definitely evolved over the years but they have always had a special message right from them to me. They started out without any color.
A few years later, color ink came in.
Then technology caught up with my Grandma and she was able to start putting pictures in them.
And this is what we have today. I was given my card on Sunday at my birthday dinner and I was just as excited to get it as I am every year. Time has not changed that. I look forward to seeing what pictures are in there. I love to read what they have written to me. And I love that I get to add another card to my collection. I know that one day these cards will stop. But they haven't yet. Thank you grandma for the constant effort that you put into these. I want you to know that we recognize that it is a lot of work to do cards for six kids (and their spouses), 33 grandchildren (and their spouses), and 23 great grandchildren. You are truly amazing and we love and treasure those cards.
Well... thank you for walking down memory lane with me. It makes me feel a little better. I am grateful to be out of the awkward zit stage. I am grateful to have siblings that tolerate my ridiculousness. I am grateful that I have survived thirty years and am relatively normal. ( It's all relative, right?) Here's to another thirty years worth of memories!
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
It's time
My six week sabbatical is up. I am healed from Cade's delivery and I have no more excuses. For weeks I have looked solemnly into the mirror at my five double chins but could do nothing about it. With my other two pregnancies, the weight seemingly melted off after delivery. With this one, however, it is clinging to me like a fat kid clings to a Twinkie. I weigh myself every morning but the scale has not budged. I even began to question if it was working properly until I put Tylie on it and realized it worked just fine. So...with all that said, I made a choice a few days ago. I got my fat butt off the couch, put the Butterfingers down and strapped on the ole' running shoes. I turned on the treadmill and after a few creaks and complaints of not being used for months, we became good friends again. It felt good to run again. It felt good to push myself (even if it was only for three miles!). It just felt good to be able to move! I am going to do another 1/2 marathon with my sister in June. I better get moving. I can't wait to get the extra poundage off that I am carrying around. I don't want it to seem like I am complaining to much though. I am happy to be a mama again. I just want to be a smaller mama than I am now. But, no matter what, this is what I got out of it.
It is worth it, even the 5 extra chins!
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