Monday, September 8, 2008

Too much control

I am at that point in my pregnancy where I have to go to the doctors weekly. I was at the doctors on friday and he informed me that he was going to be out of town on my due date so there is a good possibilty that he would miss the baby being born. He is going to be gone for 15 days so unless I want to hold out until he gets back (that is if the baby allows it), his partner would have to deliver the baby. Naturally I was diappointed because I have been with my doctor through this entire process and to have someone step in at the last minute that I don't even know is a little disheartning. Then he starts talking about inducing me. He said that he would have no problem inducing me because I am so close to my due date that this should not be a probem at all. Suddenly, Jake and I start whipping out cell phones and calendars trying to figure out what day would be the best. We are trying to work things out around school and work and when would be best for my mom to take Tylie. As I sat there planning a day that I would be celebrating with cake and ice cream for the rest of my life, I couldn't help but chuckle at us. What happened to the days of the woman waking up in the middle of the night because her water broke and her husband is frantically running around the bedroom throwing things in a bag and trying to find his keys and button his shirt at the same time. Jake still jokes with me about the night that we went in for Tylie to be induced. I had worked all day that day and I was scheduled to be at the hospital a few hours after I got off. I came home, got in the shower, shaved my legs, put on a fresh coat of make up, carefully packed my bag and made sure I had everything for Tylie, and headed out to the car. All the while, Jake was relaxing on the couch watching the opening ceremony of the Olympics until I was ready to go. AHHHH! As nice as all of this is, I can't help but wonder if we have just a little too much control over things sometimes. I don't want to complain because at least when I am induced, I don't have to go through those last miserable weeks wondering if today might be the day. I love being able to pick a date and know that I will officially be done as of that day. But I do feel a small bit of regret knowing that I might never know that frantic feeling of rushing to the hospital hoping that we will make it. Honestly, it is one of Jake's biggest fears that he will be in that situation and forget his way to the hospital. Maybe this is just the evil wife in me that thinks it would be kind of funny to watch Jake in that frantic state. It is not very often that Jake shows fear of anything, but I have a feeling that fear would be just one of the few emotions that he would show in those moments. Well, maybe this baby will decide to come before his "date" and all of my regrets will be quickly resolved and I will have a great story to blog about.