A BOY!!!

Five months has flown by and last Thursday I found myself walking into the hospital to get the infamous 20 week ultrasound. Now, Brittany has explained to me many times that they look for all sorts of things when they do this ultrasound but let's be honest- all I really want to know is one thing, boy or girl??? I have had several coworkers encourage me not to find out, they try to convince me that it will be funner that way. YEAH RIGHT!!! I am not one of those people that have the patience or tolerance to wait. I lose a sense of control if I don't know and I just can't handle that. The many weeks that preceeded this visit had many thoughts running through my head. I want a boy simply because I already have a girl and I would love to have a boy for Jake to wrestle with and do whatever it is that boys do. BUT- I love having a girl!!! She is so much fun to dress up and it is a comfort level for me. I have a girl so I know what to expect. I have been there so I wouldn't have any surprises. I wish I had that mothers instinct that everyone talks about and could sense that gender of the baby but I don't. I had no clue. I had decided that I would be happy either way (obviously) but I would like to have a boy just to have the pressure off. As I watched the girl do my ultrasound I started to get nervous. My mind started spinning and I started having second thoughts about the whole thing. And then she said it- A BOY! OH CRAP! I don't know what to do with a boy. I looked over and saw Jake beaming like a kid at Christmas but my heart started thumping and I found myself hoping that she saw it wrong. I am afraid of boys. I don't have anything for a boy- everything I own for a baby is pink! Now that it is 4 days later, my breathing has adjusted and I am ok again. I am going to chalk up my roller coaster emotions to the pregnancy but right now I am feeling good about having a boy. I didn't have a clue what to do with Tylie but I have been ok. It will be the same with this one. Now I just have one more problem- a name. This is one thing that Jake and I cannot seem to agree on. I have 4 months- let's see what we can come up with.